The Momma Loves Gringo

It’s a Litter Box Cake!

Here is the recipe [From Dolittler: How to Make a Litterbox Cake]:

Ingredients

• 2 recipes of brownies
• 1 recipe chocolate frosting (not canned)
• 2 recipes of angel food or white cake
• 1 large box of Nerds…pick out the blue and green ones
• 1 bag Tootsie Rolls
• 1 brand-new litter box (hand-washed)
• 1 brand-new litter scooper (hand-washed)
• 1/4 cup dark honey

Assembly

1. Line the bottom of the litter box with brownie squares
2. Soften the frosting in the microwave to achieve a pour-able consistency
3. Pour frosting over the brownies in an even layer and smooth out into the corners
4. In a large bowl, crumble the cake into fine, litter-like crumbs and sprinkle to cover the brownie/frosting layer
5. Sprinkle blue and green Nerds evenly over the top (to resemble air freshening crystals)
6. Sculpt Tootsie rolls into realistic kitty turds
7. Randomly insert litter scooper
8. Scatter and embed Tootsie roll sculptures into cakey litter
9. Pour honey in one spot on the cakey litter to simulate a pool of urine
10. Apply litter box splashguard for complete effect!
11. Dig in!

Okay, I am not ashamed to admit that I have been surgically “altered”. Some may call it dismemberment of a sort, but I do not really miss them. For one thing, it is a lot easier to run and jump without them bouncing all over the place!

I think they only should be kept around if you are planning on being a daddy someday. Even then, if you do not belong to a professional breeder, you may want to consult with one before family planning. You may think that you will make a lot of money to buy premium dog food and new toys, but raising puppies until they are old enough to adopt out is very costly indeed! If you are lucky, you may break even.

Think about the benefits of removing them (at around 6 months of age). First of all, they cloud up your thinking. If there is a bitch in your neighborhood who is in season, they will make you do anything, even may make you run across a busy street to get to her. Second, without them, you will have nearly a zero chance of getting prostate cancer.

As for the unproven facts of losing them (again at around 6 months of age) there is little to no smegma, less drooling, and less aggressive behavior.

Here’s a little tip for single women. If you meet a man who insists that his male dog never be neutered and is not planning on breeding him, don’t date him. There are only two other reasons a man will do this. First, he may be a hypermacho “Alabama man” and second he may be using the dog to compensate for something else….

your pal,

Gringo

Current Mood: uninspired

This entry brought to you by the The Apathetic Online Journal Entry Generator by Lore Fitzgerald Sjöberg